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“If a man has an apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats we call her nuts. But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models.”
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 New Virulent Strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease!

HumorAnonymous writes "The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lecthym (pronounced "Gonna Re-elect Him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past 4 years, and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves...

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Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea lecthim include: Antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idée fixee; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing thinking.

This epidemic is out of control. MMWR reports it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. Excessive exposure to trailer parks, country gospel music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors.

New CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's will.

Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief, but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward.

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"New Virulent Strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease!" | Login/Create an Account | 1 comment | Search Discussion
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Re: New Virulent Strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease! (Score: 1)
by tommeb on Tuesday, March 01 @ 16:37:11 EST
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Bravo! I am happy to know I am one of the latter
55,000,000 to enjoy life afterwards ;-)

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