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 Pacifica, Redneckistan, New Canada

Humorby Anonymous

Map: Pacifica, Redneckistan, New Canada - USA 2050

It's my belief that our country has simply gotten too big. There have been small but significant secessionist movements in California for quite a while. Smaller secessionist discussions also have taken place among Washington state and Alaska residents.

When a country grows too big it is less able to represent and serve its citizens. I believe we would be much better off separating into parts that are economically viable on their own and more cohesive in cultural, regional and political representation of its citizens...


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There are many southerners still smarting from an ancient psychological wound inflicted by us yankees. They believe the right to secession should exist. There are indications that Thomas Jefferson also expressed a similar attitude (albeit for far different reasons.) Sometimes people get things right for the wrong reasons.

Although rare, there have been a few examples where splitting a country can be both peaceful and in the best interest of both (or all) parts, e.g., Czechoslovakia and Norway/Sweden and even the breakup of the Soviet Union.

This map is, of course, entirely speculative. Note that I made Indianapolis the capital of "New Canada". Of the potential New Canadian states, Indiana may be most in-tune with Redneckistan politics but would, I believe, have more in common overall with the upper midwest than with southern states.

For those who think a state like Indiana would never take part, I would suggest that Indiana would have more to lose by being isolated amid surrounding "New Canada" states and more to gain if they could get the capital city out of the deal.

And why would the other states accept Indianapolis as the new capital? Well, for smaller states, to offset the influence of more populated and more urban ones. For the other states, as a compromise among competing states that would also serve as an inducement for Indiana to preserve the contiguous land boundaries of the new country.

Actually, I would prefer a situation where Pacifica and New Canada could become part of a greater Canada but the Canadians aren't that dumb.

Bob Carroll





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